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NEWS

Trending

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Toilet Seats and Buddhas, Barcelona, 2006
The fact that I glaze over when I hear the term ‘trending’ dragged its way into my consciousness this week, so I then had to think about why. Firstly, I suppose it has something to do with the fact that it’s one of those nouns trendily switched into verb to create a new buzzword. Those always get up my nose. Plus, I suppose has something to do with a lifelong aversion to anything the media tell me I’m supposed to like. I confess to being a Manchester United fan, but I started watching them in the early 70s, when they were awful; after the Busby Glory Years, but before the Ferguson ones. I was there that day when they were relegated to the old Second Division; I then started traipsing around the country to watch them at all the unfashionable Second Division grounds, like Hull, Blackpool and QPR. I’m a Northern Soul fan - a musical form that has suddenly shot into the limelight - but I started going to the clubs way back when no-one had heard of it, when the total number of people country-wide attending the clubs could probably counted in the hundreds, and when everyone laughed at our music and fashions and told us we should be listening to Elton John and David Bowie and wearing bright-yellow platform-soled boots. It’s probably also to do with the fact that if something is ‘trending’ then what it is and what’s making it ‘trend’ are likely to be of as much interest to me as a discarded chip tray, like some celebrity I’ve never heard of has broken up with some other celebrity I’ve never heard of, or dyed his/her hair green, or taken to the beach in Ibiza with a sunburnt paunch hanging over his/her ill-advised briefs, or that there’s this fantastic new ‘app’ that will alert you if the price of olives in Azerbaijan drops below 60 Qepiks a Kilo. In short, I suppose it’s because I recognise that ‘trending’ translates instantly to ‘not of interest to the likes of you’. But I guess there must be some people out there to whom things that 'trend' are of interest, otherwise why use the term? If you are one such, please don’t write in.